Here We Are
by shippershape
Summary: This is a collection of moments from after Clarke's "I was being weak" moment in 2x09. Currently includes Lincoln and Octavia trying to convince Bellamy that Clarke really does love him, some missing moments between the two leaders before Bellamy leaves and a Bellarke reunion after he is captured in Mt Weather. Not necessarily consecutive or connected.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Sorry Guys, seriously no clue why did that with formatting but it should be fixed now.

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"She doesn't mean it." Bellamy turned toward the voice, finding Lincoln a few feet away, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What?'"

"I know what you're thinking, about what Clarke said. She cares about you." Bellamy fought the urge to scoff at Lincoln's words, Clarke had all but called him disposable. He was used to that, maybe not from her, but he was used to that. It had hurt, more accurately, it had gutted him. But she was right. It was worth the risk.

"Uh, yeah." He muttered. Him and Lincoln had never really gotten along, at first because of the torture, and lately because Bellamy had never asked but strongly suspected Lincoln was way too old to be dating his sister. Either way, he didn't much feel like having this conversation with him. He sighed. "Well, she's right. I have to go to Mount Weather, we don't have another option." Lincoln frowned.

"You don't know Lexa. She wasn't always as cold as she seems. She lost a lover, it changed her. Loss…. it does that. If I know her at all she'll have told Clarke that love is weakness, that the only way to protect her people is to distance herself from them."

Bellamy thought back to earlier, Clarke's words ringing in his head

I was being weak.

Was Lincoln saying-

"She loves you." Lincoln flashed him a grim smile. "I've known women like her before. I know what it looks like. She'll tell herself she doesn't, she'll push you away. She doesn't know how to go on now, so she'll try to become someone else. It won't work. She's going to come back to you, Bellamy." Bellamy stared at him, trying to process what he was hearing, to reconcile it with everything else that had happened.

"You're wrong." He mumbled. Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "She doesn't love me, she just, she cares about people, about everyone. We're partners, she needs me."

"You are, and she does." Lincoln said, the smile gone, replaced with a much more serious expression. "But not in the way you think." He turned to leave, then swiveled back to face Bellamy. "Don't die in Mount Weather. Whatever she thinks, she's not like Lexa. She'll live without Collins, with her guilt. She won't make it without you." Nodding in farewell, he left Bellamy standing slightly dazed next to the fire.

I was being weak. Surely she hadn't been saying she loved him… but what else would that mean? Confused, but heartened, Bellamy retreated to his blanket next to Clarke. Her eyes were closed, though he doubted she was sleeping. He had ghosts too, hundreds of them, and they were always the loudest at night. As he settled in, she rolled over, eyes open and alert. He sighed.

"You should try to get some sleep." He said, knowing it was useless. She shook her head.

"I can't. I keep thinking-" About Finn. "About you. Going into Mount Weather, getting caught, getting stuck in one of those cages." Hiding his surprise, Bellamy lay down on his side, facing her.

"I'll be okay. I can do it." She nodded, eyes flicking up like they always did when she was trying not to cry.

"I know."

"This is what makes us strong." He hadn't meant to say it, had been trying to ignore what Lincoln had said.

"What?"

"What we have, this-this thing. You and me. How we are together, as a team. That's our strength. You make me better. I-well I'm not actually sure you need me, but I'm all you've got. It works." We work, he thought. I need you, please don't push me away. Clarke looked at him, really really looked at him. Seconds passed, and it was as though she was considering, like maybe she had been thinking the same thing, maybe she had just been afraid it wasn't enough, maybe she just needed someone to tell her what she already knew. Something like relief spread over her features, a weary kind of acceptance that put a little of the softness back in her face. She looked a little like herself again.

"Okay." She finally murmured, rolling onto her back and closing her her eyes. Bellamy mirrored her, wondering if either of them would actually sleep at all. A few moments passed, and he was wondering if she actually had fallen asleep. Then she spoke.

"You make me strong. If nothing else, you keep me sane. I do need you." He opened an eye, glanced over at her, but she hadn't moved. Her eyes were still closed, no indication that she was speaking to him other than the movement of her lips. "It's worth the risk, for them. I never said it was worth it for me."


	2. Chapter 2

It takes almost twenty minutes for Clarke's heartbeat to slow down after Bellamy walks back into the village and she realizes he's alive. It takes days before she lets him out of her sight for a second, they share a tent and people talk but she's never cared less about anything in her life. It takes almost two weeks for her to stop instinctively checking to make sure he's still there every morning when she wakes up. It only takes a few hours for them to get into an argument, but that's to be expected and if she's being honest that's the first time she feels like she can breathe since the day he left for Mount Weather.

If love is weakness then she is in for some broken bones and fatal bruises but that's a price she's willing to pay now. If love is weakness she'll be broken within the year. So be it. She loves him. It takes her exactly 17 days to tell him.


	3. Chapter 3

"You're an idiot." Octavia smirked tiredly down at her brother, who blinked at her in annoyance.

"Wow. That's a nice way to welcome home your only family from being abducted and tortured." He was joking, but the scars on his body hadn't begun to heal and he wasn't sure the ones on his mind ever would. He'd been stuck in that cage for thirteen days after he'd managed to liberate the rest of their people and get them past security. He had insisted on being the last one out, and he didn't regret it. He'd been glad it was him. After he'd been caught, after they'd spent days draining him of blood and bone marrow. Especially then. He could take it. He wasn't sure the others could. Staring up at Octavia, he soaked in her presence. He had wondered if he would ever see her again. She stuck her tongue out at him, and the smile came automatically. It still felt strange to smile.

"I already hugged you, what more do you want? You're so needy." She dropped down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"So why are you insulting me?" He wondered aloud. She sighed.

"You've been avoiding Clarke." He tensed at her words.

"I haven't-"

"You have. It's because of what she said before you left, I'm not an idiot."

"She said my life was worth the risk, she was right." His voice sounded stiff and unconvincing, even to him. Octavia sat up beside him, frowning seriously.

"When Monty and the others came back, you could tell she was looking for you. Her friends were all hugging her, and crowding around her, and she couldn't go more than a few seconds without looking up, looking for you."

"You don't know she was looking for me." He muttered. She poked him.

"Yeah, I do. And then she asked about you, and everyone went all quiet, and I swear Bell, she looked like she was suddenly waking up in the middle of a nightmare. Miller pulled us aside, and he told us they'd gotten you, and at first I was mad, I was so angry at her." Looking ashamed, Octavia let her gaze drop to her lap. "I told her this was her fault, I told her she should never have let you go-"

"O," Bellamy looked pained. "You didn't."

"I was freaking out. I didn't mean it, and I feel horrible, but she just looked at me. And then she told me I was right, she told me she should have gone instead-"

"That doesn't make any sense! Dante would have recognized her immediately, she never would have made it to the others." Bellamy clenched his fists, he was tired of this martyr bullshit. None of their plans were foolproof, someone was always at risk, and Clarke always felt responsible.

"I know. But she apologized, to me, and then she left. I went looking for her later. I thought I was freaking out but she looked… I've never seen her look like that. Never." She glanced up at Bellamy and her voice was shaking a little because that had been a bad night, a really bad night. He slung an arm around her, the way he always had when they were kids and she had been so afraid to go back under the floor. He was her comfort, but she had never really been his.

"I can't really explain it, Bell. There aren't words. But when she found out about you she just… lost it. She wasn't herself. We didn't-we didn't think we'd get you back, and I wasn't sure Clarke would ever really come back either." Her lip trembled, because she'd learned to be tough about a lot of things but she would never be able to conceal how much her brother meant to her. He was all the family she had.

"I'm not saying she doesn't care, O. I just don't think she cares like… I don't know." He trailed off. Octavia made a thoughtful noise.

"Like you care?" He didn't answer her. "When I got to that village and Lincoln wasn't there, I felt like I was dying. I knew he was missing, I knew he was probably in danger but when you hit that moment, when someone's telling you the person you love is gone, it's like suffocating." She turned to look at him again, eyes earnest. "That's what she looked like. Like me, like Raven. Like she'd just lost the love of her life." Lost for words, Bellamy just stared at her.

"She doesn't love me." It was strange how the words stung coming off his tongue. It wasn't like he'd thought otherwise, but it felt like an admission of guilt. Like maybe he wanted her to.

"Yeah, Bell." Octavia said, kissing him on the top of his head as she stood to leave. "She does. You weren't here, but I'm not the only one who noticed. Lincoln said the last time he'd seen anything like it was when Lexa lost Kostia. She loves you. She's just scared."

"Scared of what?" Bellamy asked, voice wary. He couldn't let himself believe this, not now. He couldn't afford to get his hopes up, he had to focus on maintaining the alliance. Octavia scoffed.

"Are you kidding? Every guy she's ever loved has died, Bellamy. Her dad, Finn, Wells. I think she thinks that loving you puts you in danger." They both looked up as a familiar blonde head approached, something like hope flaring up in his chest as Clarke made her way over. "You should talk to her. You two idiots need each other." Octavia left, touching Clarke's arm as she went, and then it was just the two of them.

"Hey." Clarke said. Bellamy felt a wry smile tug at his lips.

"Hey." Nothing had changed, really. But everything was different now. He looked up at Clarke, the sunlight bouncing off her curls, her expression weary but peaceful. Yes, everything was different. But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing after all.


End file.
